update #18 - visiting the Motherland

"the ideal is to feel at home anywhere, everywhere" -- Geoff Dyer

Feeling at home anywhere, everywhere is something I've always longed for - and I feel is a lot of what prompted me to travel as much as I have. There was a desire within me to explore all these places and feel at home in them. To be easily adaptable. To embrace living cross-culturally, and to allow parts of those cultures to seep into who I am.

Stockholm, September 2016

That's why I wanted to stay longer than a week or two in each city or country I visited.
Why I wanted to stay with locals, eat like locals, live like locals.
Why I wanted to learn their language.
Why I wanted to learn their customs and culture.

And yet, no matter how much desire I've had to learn all those things and live like locals, I have rarely felt at home in all the places I've traveled. Some cultures are too different from my home culture. Some languages are too unlike those I've studied for me to even attempt to communicate. Some customs are too foreign for me to understand.

There can be a lot of barriers to not feeling at home in a foreign place, which is what makes it so amazing when you find a place in which you do finally feel at home.

Village walks in Dalarna

Despite the fact that I spent my first 18 years living in America, I struggled to feel at home in that culture. Part of that could be moving across the country when I was 8 years old. Even though the move was still within America, there are some vast cultural differences between Pennsylvania and Washington state. I might not have been aware of it at such a young age, but I definitely went through some serious culture shock after that move. I put all of my energy into resenting my new "home" and longing for my old one.

Throughout my teens, I had several opportunities to travel to countries in Europe and Latin America. I loved each visit. It was fun communicating in a different language and practicing that skill. Though I hadn't been raised in those countries, something felt right about those places - those cultures. I felt more at home there than I felt at home in Washington.

There's always time for fika in Sweden

More than anything, Sweden felt like home. I remember being there for the first time at 18 and thinking I'd never felt so at home since leaving Pennsylvania. I spent a year in that country, in the land of my forefathers, visiting the town of my people, and exploring a bit of the beautiful countryside. I fell in love and was determined to go back, no matter how long or what it took. There was something within me calling me "home," despite not having been born or raised in Sweden.

I continued to travel and seek opportunities to get me back to Europe, but it took nearly a decade before I was back in Sweden. Many adventures between then and now, including a move to Europe, have made it more and more clear that it is difficult to be at home anywhere and everywhere. Despite my desire for that to be true, it was not easy to feel just as at home in Uganda and Nicaragua as it had been in Sweden. Even moving to Spain has had its challenges for me. I've come to realize that Sweden is a land filled with people who share so many similar values, with whom I can easily relate (since they're a country filled with introverts ;) haha), and is a huge piece of my identity.

Visiting the family home in Dalarna

In the three years (off and on) that I've lived in Spain, I've been able to visit the Motherland 3 times, each with wonderfully unique experiences. This last visit (nearly 2 months ago now, oops) brought me so much joy and made it that much harder to leave. I spent a quick weekend up north of Stockholm, visiting some relatives and seeing places of great importance to our family history.
It was beautiful in so many ways. A refreshing taste of Fall weather. Laughter-filled connections with distant cousins. Peace and quiet in cozy homes with incredible views of Swedish landscapes & lakes.

Family history & fika time

I love that place, more than words can explain.
I love my family. I love that culture. I love the green beauty. I love that it SNOWS there. I love that the days are really short in the winter and extremely long in the summer.
I love those things because they are part of who I am. I can't explain it any other way. Sweden is my home, whether or not I ever get to live there again. The Swedes are my people.

I still love to travel and learn about new cultures. But maybe this idea of being at home anywhere and everywhere has more to do with taking with me the parts of Sweden that make it home. I live in Spain for now. Who knows what the next 5, 10, 20 years hold. But what I do know is what a gift it's been to have gotten so much time learning about and experiencing Swedish culture over the years. Those are the things I can take with me, wherever I go.

Saying goodbye on a gorgeous Fall day

At the top of Lake Siljan with the lady cousins

And so, with my dalahäst, I can be at home anywhere, everywhere. ;)

Family group shot outside the dalahäst factory

♥
mk

update #16 - time

"learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had" -- Ziad K. Abdelnour

It's now been almost 8 months since I arrived in Spain. In some ways it's hard to believe it's already been that long, but at the same time it feels like I said goodbye to family & friends ages ago.

Time is a funny thing.
One minute, everything is brand new - sights, smells, food, people - and before you know it, those things have all become familiar, second-nature, and it's sad to think about leaving.

Noche en Blanco (Málaga) with some great friends

Thankfully I'm not the one leaving this time, but some of the friends I've made in the last 8 months will be leaving over the next few months and it's sad to think they won't be part of my daily or weekly rhythms of life anymore.
Sure, there's Skype and WhatsApp and email and countless forms of technology that help people stay in touch from the other side of the world. But we all know it's not the same.

Spending time with my adorable new friends

I've tried to live in the moment, appreciating each day I'm here, every interaction and conversation, all the bits and pieces of life that make up a culture. And yet, without realizing it, time slips by.

It comes and goes on its own.

It's a beautiful gift that we often take for granted.

It's something we can't control.

All we can do, really, is make the most of what's in front of us:

The people in our lives right now.

The places we are.

The experiences we can choose to have.

A quick day trip to Granada came with this stellar view

We can be fully present to what's happening now and make some new memories, share in the laughter and love of good friendships, and soak up the sunshine life is offering us.

So go forth, and enjoy today.

♥
mk

update #15 - travel: Barcelona & Girona

"travel, in the younger sort, is a part of education; in the elder, a part of the experience" -- Francis Bacon

Wine & tapas in Barcelona

Travel does wonders for the soul. It doesn't have to be far. But going somewhere that's outside of your daily (or weekly) "normal" gives a refreshing perspective. 


It has helped me appreciate the many things I have here at home - community, familiarity, routine, constant sunshine (even though I'd be fine with some change in the weather every now and then ;) haha) - while satisfying my desire for adventure, change, exploration, learning something new.

Finally got to see Ally IN SPAIN!

A couple of weeks ago, I got to spend a weekend up in Barcelona, visiting a few friends, seeing a bunch of sights, relaxing, enjoying some good wine, exploring the city - and even going up to Girona for a day. It was a wonderful weekend away, a nice change of pace, a breath of fresh air, and a fun adventure!

Sagrada Familia

Exploring Parc Guell - Gaudi's house!

With just 62 hours in the area, we made the most of our time: going to the Sagrada Familia, getting a 2.5-hour (FREE!) walking tour of the Gothic Quarter, hiking up to Parc Guell (where Gaudi's house and quite a bit of his other works are), walking Las Ramblas, and even taking time to relax and enjoy some wine and tapas. 

It was an ideal time of year to go - not quite peak tourist season yet, so there weren't too many people, and the weather was great (aside from the rain our first day there)! If you have the chance to go to Barcelona, I'd definitely recommend going in late Spring or early Fall if you can. :)

Sitting outside my new favorite cafe

Our last day in Barcelona, we decided to take a 40-minute train ride north to Girona. We walked the old city wall (which provided amazing views, including the one in the photo below), went to the cathedral but had just barely missed the cutoff for the free entry, so we decided to go to a cafe my friend had recommended (La Fabrica) and fell in love with the city a little more. The cafe is in this tiny little plaza between several buildings and at the base of some ancient stairs; it was surreal and awesome all at once. The best part of Girona: everything in the old part of town is walkable from the train station! I would highly recommend taking a day to go explore Girona if you ever find yourself in Catalunya.

View of Girona from the old city wall

There will probably always be a thousand reasons not to travel

- even for a quick weekend trip -

but it's completely worth it. Vale la pena! 

Take advantage of flight deals,

find a cheap train ticket,

plan a short road trip with someone...

go on an adventure.

Your soul will thank you.

♥ mk

update #14 - seasons

"everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn" -- elizabeth lawrence

Snow in Stockholm

Living in Málaga, I often miss the winter. I love snow sports, looking outside and watching the ground get covered in a blanket of white, seeing snow-capped mountain tops, sipping hot chocolate by a warm fire after a walk through the snowy woods... There's so much magic in that season.

I do also love the summer. And here, I get plenty of that. It's not sunny and hot all the time, but the weather is pretty pleasant for most of the year here.

So maybe what I truly miss is the change in seasons. Having spent 10 years of my childhood in Seattle, you'd think I would be used to the lack of change. But that is one of the things that led me to travel and explore other places. I wanted change. I wanted something different, something new.

How often do we find ourselves wanting change? It seems so prevalent in society today - we need new phones every 2 years, new clothes every season, new haircuts, new cars, new jobs, new apartments, new whatever. Are we so unable to be satisfied or content with all that we have?

Yes, it's good to have motivation to push yourself and grow, but at what cost? If we're always thinking about the next new thing, the next goal on our list, are we ever being present and enjoying the moment?

I'm here in Spain for a season. There are no certainties of how long this season will last - months, years, decades? But I might as well enjoy the summer while I'm here, instead of longing for winter.

A sunny "winter" day in my neighborhood

I can embrace this season, seeing the gift of each day, every conversation, each friendship that's forming...

So, rather than dwelling on what I don't have or what I'm missing, I choose to make the most of this season of my life. I know I'll miss it when it's over, so I might as well enjoy it while I'm in it.
 

A Málaga sunset

♥ mk

update #13 - stories

"I am interested in personal stories because that's when people become expressive, spontaneous, and heartfelt." -- Anna Deavere Smith

I stopped on the corner of the street and asked my friend how he was doing. He's someone my co-worker and I first met while serving lunch at Amfremar (the local soup kitchen in our neighborhood) and have since gotten to know at our English club. He's been looking for work since the end of the summer. Without any family nearby, he has been forced to find alternative housing (read: living in a tent in the foothills just above our neighborhood). He makes a valiant effort, though, dressing in nice, button-up shirts during the day and selling birds of paradise flowers on the side of the street to make ends meet.

Every time I see him, I stop to say hello and ask how he's doing. He's quite a positive person, given his circumstances, which often reminds me of what's truly important in life.

It's not so much about the things we have (beyond our basic needs), but the relationships we have - and how we can share the things we do have with other people in our lives.
It's not about noticing what we have (or lack) compared to other people, but more about coming together as a community and realizing what we all have together.

It's a joy to be able to work in community development because most of my weeks are filled with stories like this that make me pause, re-focus, and re-center on what matters most. I honestly believe that if each of us opened our eyes to see the people we pass on the streets every day and took a moment to listen to their stories, we'd all have weeks filled with encounters and stories to shift our perspectives back to people, relationships, and community.

Who can you talk to this week?

There's a chance it could make their day.
And an even greater chance it could have a lasting impact on your heart.




♥ mk

update #12 - perspective

“To my mind, the greatest reward and luxury of travel is to be able to experience everyday things as if for the first time, to be in a position in which almost nothing is so familiar it is taken for granted.” – Bill Bryson

In the last five weeks, I've spent the night in 6 different cities spread out between three countries on two continents.

I'm back to living out of a suitcase.

Enjoying the snow in Sweden

It's difficult to feel settled when constantly traveling. And even more difficult when the place where I want to feel settled isn't my home culture. I'm still adjusting to life in Spain. Then I go and explore Sweden (which was just wonderful) and come back to Spain for a week and a half and then jump on a plane to Morocco for a coaching training.

Three drastically different cultures. All within two weeks.

Visiting the souk in Casablanca

I think I'm just now recovered from all that travel and have registered that I'm actually back in Spain and here to stay for the foreseeable future. And you know what's amazing? All that travel, despite the fact that I was living out of a suitcase and constantly on the go, ended up helping me feel more settled here. 

Spain feels more like home to me now. My piso is a restful place that I come to take a break in the middle of my long days meeting with people, volunteering, and helping run our English club. I'm recognizing more and more of the faces I see in my neighborhood. My teammates are my extended family. I look forward to going to the soup kitchen and serving my (homeless) neighbors I often see on the streets selling flowers or asking for spare change. I'm excited to build relationships with the people in my neighborhood, investing in them as leaders, entrepreneurs, community members, and global citizens.

Maybe this feeling of being settled would have come eventually without all the travel this past month. But I'm grateful I got the best of both worlds - visiting one of my favorite places, exploring new cultures, and then coming back "home." 

Sunset on the Mediterranean

There is still some unfamiliarity to this life in Spain, but it's becoming more and more comfortable. And despite the frustrations that are part of adjusting to a new culture, I'm happy to be right where I am.

♥ mk

update #11 - christmastime is here

Christmastime is here
Happiness and cheer
Fun for all that children call
Their favorite time of the year

Those of you who know me, know very well that this is my favorite time of the year. There's such joy, hope, and excitement in the air during this season. There's love and peace as families gather near and far to celebrate with one another.

For as long as I can remember, I've loved the Christmas season, willing it to start earlier every year (a bit to the dismay and frustration of friends and roommates over the years who have had to listen to Christmas music in October... They would have started hearing it in September, but I was careful to listen through headphones that early ;) haha).

Memories of my childhood Christmases are summed up perfectly by this next verse of the song:

Snowflakes in the air
Carols everywhere
Olden times and ancient rhymes
Of love and dreams to share

I love snow and the magic it brings. Something so simple can blanket a town in white, bringing a quiet peace and tranquility upon its inhabitants. And it's such a beautiful image of the clean and perfect [new] life we're given in Jesus, the baby whose birth we celebrate at this time of the year.

Sleigh bells in the air
Beauty everywhere
Yuletide by the fireside
And joyful memories there

Making paper snowflakes to bring
"winter" to Southern Spain

This is only the second time I won't get to spend Christmas with my family, so in some ways it doesn't feel like Christmas is actually happening this year. I am, however, taking full advantage of living in Europe and am spending my favorite holiday in my favorite country - Sweden! It's wonderful to be back in the Motherland, spending time with relatives I've met and gotten to know in the last 10 years, reunited with my man after saying goodbye in Boston almost three months ago, and celebrating Christmas with a family friend who has been part of our family Christmases for about the last 20 years.

Definitely all amazing things that are part of what I enjoy so much about this season. As much as I love and cherish my childhood Christmas memories, it's a gift to be able to make new memories in this season every year. 

Christmas time is here
We'll be drawing near
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year...

As you all draw near to family and friends this holiday season, may you reflect upon the true gifts of love, hope, peace, and joy that are at the core of the meaning behind this most wonderful time of the year. Receive those gifts and be willing to give them as well. May we all carry the true Christmas spirit with us throughout the year.

Christmas cookies!

Our English Club Christmas party - plenty of
laughter and cheer that night :)

♥
mk

update #10 - holidays and families

"the love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth or privilege."  -- charles kurah


This time of year always makes me miss my family. In the United States, it's a time when extended families come together to share a meal of Thanksgiving. It's a time when some families begin decorating for Christmas. It's time when college students come home to be with their families. A time when a lot of young adults take time off work and make their way back home so they can celebrate and spend time with their loved ones.

We celebrated Thanksgiving with some of

our Spanish neighbors and friends.

Feliz Día de Acción de Gracias!

I'm thankful to be in Spain right now, even though it's the most difficult time of the year for me to be away from my family.

I'm thankful I get to experience my favorite time of the year in a different culture from my own.

I'm thankful for the wonderful friendships I've been given here in Spain that make home not feel so far away.

I'm thankful that I'm able to feel at home here in Malaga.

I'm thankful for this unique experience to live abroad and immerse myself in a new culture.

I'm thankful for the new perspective I've gained from living here.

I'm thankful that Spaniards truly value families.

This past week, as I've been missing my family a little more than usual, I've started to notice the emphasis on families here.
When kids have a day off school and their parents have the day off work, it's almost assumed that the family will spend the day together. I went to the mall on such a day a couple of weeks ago and it was packed with families - moms, dads and kids all together. Crazy. That's just not something I normally saw in the States.
Then I started noticing things my Spanish friends would say about going away for the weekend with their parents. Because, evidently, that's a normal thing.
Even the way a traditional Spanish work (and school) day is set up to include siesta is designed so that families can spend some time and share a meal together every day.

What a beautiful thing it is! A value so important to this people group that it has shaped their culture.

Right now, living halfway across the world from my family and close friends, it's obviously impossible to share a meal together everyday. Or even have a conversation most days. But that certainly doesn't mean I love or value them any less. It just makes me wonder how this time in Spain will impact my own personal culture I'm developing as I take bits and pieces of cultures to which I'm exposed.

I'm grateful for this time in a culture that treasures family. In some ways it makes me long to be with my family and friends even more, but it also makes me want to be more present here. What other beautiful aspects of this culture will I get to discover over the next few years here?



♥
mk

update #8 - frustrations

"if you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."  -- mary engelbreit


So many frustrations today.
So many things not checked off my to-do list.
So many tasks pushed out yet another day.

I started writing out - in great detail - each event and situation that frustrated me so much throughout the day and, as I was writing, I went through a big up and down of frustration. At first, it made me more irritated, just thinking through how I felt in the midst of each moment. Then, as I was recounting the stories, I realized how silly they all sounded. 

Being woken up by rain at 3:00 in the morning.
Going to (yet another) Spanish government office and being told (again) I don't have all I need.
The restaurant my morning meeting was at was closed today.
The (brand-new) bike I bought last week already has issues.
I had to walk in the rain. (Poor me.)

I mean, really?! Come on, Mikaela!

It was obviously a really trying day for me. ;)


Seriously, though. I can hear how ridiculous those complaints sound. Not that my feelings of annoyance and irritation weren't justified, but I was reminded - yet again - that so much of life is about our perspective.

A lot of what bothered me today was completely out of my control. There honestly wasn't much I could have done to change each of the situations themselves. But I did have control over how I thought about it. Unfortunately, most of today was spent thinking negatively about those moments.

But the day isn't over. 

This day doesn't have to end on a negative note. Nor do I have to remember those situations as frustrations. I can choose to shift my perspective away from the darkness and into the light. 

Look for the ray of light in the midst of darkness
(Photo: Monachil, Spain)

The rain that woke me up is nourishing the ground that doesn't often get the rain it needs.
I got to practice my Spanish with the lady I talked to at the government office. (And she was extremely patient with me throughout the situation we were both trying to figure out.)
Instead of eating out for my morning meeting, my friend/life coach and I got to cook breakfast together, which was really fun.
If I can't return my bike, this was a good learning experience for what not to do. ;) Plus I'll get to meet some new people at the bike shop I'll take it to to get fixed.
(I don't like to admit it, but) I actually think it can be totally freeing to walk in the rain.

Maybe next week my update will be entirely positive. For now, thanks for reading and supporting me from wherever in the world you're reading this!



If you can't change something, try changing the way you think about it.
It's worth a try.


♥
mk

the gift of uncertainty

Lately a lot of things have felt completely out of my control. Even more than normally are. I've known throughout this whole process of getting ready to move back to Spain long-term that I don't know the day I'll be funded enough to purchase my plane ticket, or the day I'll hear that my visa application has been accepted - let alone the day I can even apply for my visa. But throughout this journey, I've felt incredible peace.

Peace in the midst of uncertainty.
In the midst of frustration, anxiety, questions.
So many questions - from friends, family, supporters, myself.

Why am I still in the States?

When am I going to leave for Spain?

What am I doing while I'm here?

Some of those questions have a (relatively) easy answer: it takes time to gather together and invest in the people God is calling to financially partner with me. And honestly, I'm SO thankful for that time! I want to know those who are supporting me in this way, and I want them to know me. My desire is for a mutually beneficial relationship; one where we can support, love and encourage each other. I'm still in the States because God has me here - to show me who He has for me on my support team, to heal me from past brokenness, and to fully prepare me for this lifestyle He's leading me to in Spain.

And can I just tell you how amazing it's been? How amazing He is?! Not that there were any doubts, but wow - experiencing HIM is ... I don't even know how to explain it ... true peace, unfailing love, eternal joy. The fullness of who Christ is. No more, no less.

I've gotten questions I can't answer. But one thing I've known for certain: Christ lives in me.

So really, what else matters?
Why worry about the little details of when, where, why?
What could possibly be as important as actually knowing Christ? Of pursuing His face?

Taking time to be still and listen

So, for a brief update - I'm in Seattle for the foreseeable future. This visa application process and support-raising is out of my control, but I have peace knowing that God is the One who has complete control over it all. He has me here now for a reason. He will get me to wherever He wants me in His perfect timing.

All I can do until then is make the most of this time.

This precious time I have with family and friends.

It is a gift.

When you give up control over all the details that can sometimes be so consuming, you can start to see the gift that every little moment is. Every person. Every conversation. Every sunrise and sunset. Every interaction with something in nature. It's all precious. It's all something I wouldn't necessarily get to experience if I were rushing through this time here, trying my hardest to get to wherever I think I need to be, when I think I need to be there.

How amazing our Father is, constantly blessing us with gifts - whether we see them for what they are or not. May we have eyes and hearts to see His many gifts for what they truly are!

Precious time with cousins

♥ mk