update #18 - visiting the Motherland

"the ideal is to feel at home anywhere, everywhere" -- Geoff Dyer

Feeling at home anywhere, everywhere is something I've always longed for - and I feel is a lot of what prompted me to travel as much as I have. There was a desire within me to explore all these places and feel at home in them. To be easily adaptable. To embrace living cross-culturally, and to allow parts of those cultures to seep into who I am.

Stockholm, September 2016

That's why I wanted to stay longer than a week or two in each city or country I visited.
Why I wanted to stay with locals, eat like locals, live like locals.
Why I wanted to learn their language.
Why I wanted to learn their customs and culture.

And yet, no matter how much desire I've had to learn all those things and live like locals, I have rarely felt at home in all the places I've traveled. Some cultures are too different from my home culture. Some languages are too unlike those I've studied for me to even attempt to communicate. Some customs are too foreign for me to understand.

There can be a lot of barriers to not feeling at home in a foreign place, which is what makes it so amazing when you find a place in which you do finally feel at home.

Village walks in Dalarna

Despite the fact that I spent my first 18 years living in America, I struggled to feel at home in that culture. Part of that could be moving across the country when I was 8 years old. Even though the move was still within America, there are some vast cultural differences between Pennsylvania and Washington state. I might not have been aware of it at such a young age, but I definitely went through some serious culture shock after that move. I put all of my energy into resenting my new "home" and longing for my old one.

Throughout my teens, I had several opportunities to travel to countries in Europe and Latin America. I loved each visit. It was fun communicating in a different language and practicing that skill. Though I hadn't been raised in those countries, something felt right about those places - those cultures. I felt more at home there than I felt at home in Washington.

There's always time for fika in Sweden

More than anything, Sweden felt like home. I remember being there for the first time at 18 and thinking I'd never felt so at home since leaving Pennsylvania. I spent a year in that country, in the land of my forefathers, visiting the town of my people, and exploring a bit of the beautiful countryside. I fell in love and was determined to go back, no matter how long or what it took. There was something within me calling me "home," despite not having been born or raised in Sweden.

I continued to travel and seek opportunities to get me back to Europe, but it took nearly a decade before I was back in Sweden. Many adventures between then and now, including a move to Europe, have made it more and more clear that it is difficult to be at home anywhere and everywhere. Despite my desire for that to be true, it was not easy to feel just as at home in Uganda and Nicaragua as it had been in Sweden. Even moving to Spain has had its challenges for me. I've come to realize that Sweden is a land filled with people who share so many similar values, with whom I can easily relate (since they're a country filled with introverts ;) haha), and is a huge piece of my identity.

Visiting the family home in Dalarna

In the three years (off and on) that I've lived in Spain, I've been able to visit the Motherland 3 times, each with wonderfully unique experiences. This last visit (nearly 2 months ago now, oops) brought me so much joy and made it that much harder to leave. I spent a quick weekend up north of Stockholm, visiting some relatives and seeing places of great importance to our family history.
It was beautiful in so many ways. A refreshing taste of Fall weather. Laughter-filled connections with distant cousins. Peace and quiet in cozy homes with incredible views of Swedish landscapes & lakes.

Family history & fika time

I love that place, more than words can explain.
I love my family. I love that culture. I love the green beauty. I love that it SNOWS there. I love that the days are really short in the winter and extremely long in the summer.
I love those things because they are part of who I am. I can't explain it any other way. Sweden is my home, whether or not I ever get to live there again. The Swedes are my people.

I still love to travel and learn about new cultures. But maybe this idea of being at home anywhere and everywhere has more to do with taking with me the parts of Sweden that make it home. I live in Spain for now. Who knows what the next 5, 10, 20 years hold. But what I do know is what a gift it's been to have gotten so much time learning about and experiencing Swedish culture over the years. Those are the things I can take with me, wherever I go.

Saying goodbye on a gorgeous Fall day

At the top of Lake Siljan with the lady cousins

And so, with my dalahäst, I can be at home anywhere, everywhere. ;)

Family group shot outside the dalahäst factory

♥
mk

update #16 - time

"learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had" -- Ziad K. Abdelnour

It's now been almost 8 months since I arrived in Spain. In some ways it's hard to believe it's already been that long, but at the same time it feels like I said goodbye to family & friends ages ago.

Time is a funny thing.
One minute, everything is brand new - sights, smells, food, people - and before you know it, those things have all become familiar, second-nature, and it's sad to think about leaving.

Noche en Blanco (Málaga) with some great friends

Thankfully I'm not the one leaving this time, but some of the friends I've made in the last 8 months will be leaving over the next few months and it's sad to think they won't be part of my daily or weekly rhythms of life anymore.
Sure, there's Skype and WhatsApp and email and countless forms of technology that help people stay in touch from the other side of the world. But we all know it's not the same.

Spending time with my adorable new friends

I've tried to live in the moment, appreciating each day I'm here, every interaction and conversation, all the bits and pieces of life that make up a culture. And yet, without realizing it, time slips by.

It comes and goes on its own.

It's a beautiful gift that we often take for granted.

It's something we can't control.

All we can do, really, is make the most of what's in front of us:

The people in our lives right now.

The places we are.

The experiences we can choose to have.

A quick day trip to Granada came with this stellar view

We can be fully present to what's happening now and make some new memories, share in the laughter and love of good friendships, and soak up the sunshine life is offering us.

So go forth, and enjoy today.

♥
mk

update #13 - stories

"I am interested in personal stories because that's when people become expressive, spontaneous, and heartfelt." -- Anna Deavere Smith

I stopped on the corner of the street and asked my friend how he was doing. He's someone my co-worker and I first met while serving lunch at Amfremar (the local soup kitchen in our neighborhood) and have since gotten to know at our English club. He's been looking for work since the end of the summer. Without any family nearby, he has been forced to find alternative housing (read: living in a tent in the foothills just above our neighborhood). He makes a valiant effort, though, dressing in nice, button-up shirts during the day and selling birds of paradise flowers on the side of the street to make ends meet.

Every time I see him, I stop to say hello and ask how he's doing. He's quite a positive person, given his circumstances, which often reminds me of what's truly important in life.

It's not so much about the things we have (beyond our basic needs), but the relationships we have - and how we can share the things we do have with other people in our lives.
It's not about noticing what we have (or lack) compared to other people, but more about coming together as a community and realizing what we all have together.

It's a joy to be able to work in community development because most of my weeks are filled with stories like this that make me pause, re-focus, and re-center on what matters most. I honestly believe that if each of us opened our eyes to see the people we pass on the streets every day and took a moment to listen to their stories, we'd all have weeks filled with encounters and stories to shift our perspectives back to people, relationships, and community.

Who can you talk to this week?

There's a chance it could make their day.
And an even greater chance it could have a lasting impact on your heart.




♥ mk

update #11 - christmastime is here

Christmastime is here
Happiness and cheer
Fun for all that children call
Their favorite time of the year

Those of you who know me, know very well that this is my favorite time of the year. There's such joy, hope, and excitement in the air during this season. There's love and peace as families gather near and far to celebrate with one another.

For as long as I can remember, I've loved the Christmas season, willing it to start earlier every year (a bit to the dismay and frustration of friends and roommates over the years who have had to listen to Christmas music in October... They would have started hearing it in September, but I was careful to listen through headphones that early ;) haha).

Memories of my childhood Christmases are summed up perfectly by this next verse of the song:

Snowflakes in the air
Carols everywhere
Olden times and ancient rhymes
Of love and dreams to share

I love snow and the magic it brings. Something so simple can blanket a town in white, bringing a quiet peace and tranquility upon its inhabitants. And it's such a beautiful image of the clean and perfect [new] life we're given in Jesus, the baby whose birth we celebrate at this time of the year.

Sleigh bells in the air
Beauty everywhere
Yuletide by the fireside
And joyful memories there

Making paper snowflakes to bring
"winter" to Southern Spain

This is only the second time I won't get to spend Christmas with my family, so in some ways it doesn't feel like Christmas is actually happening this year. I am, however, taking full advantage of living in Europe and am spending my favorite holiday in my favorite country - Sweden! It's wonderful to be back in the Motherland, spending time with relatives I've met and gotten to know in the last 10 years, reunited with my man after saying goodbye in Boston almost three months ago, and celebrating Christmas with a family friend who has been part of our family Christmases for about the last 20 years.

Definitely all amazing things that are part of what I enjoy so much about this season. As much as I love and cherish my childhood Christmas memories, it's a gift to be able to make new memories in this season every year. 

Christmas time is here
We'll be drawing near
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year...

As you all draw near to family and friends this holiday season, may you reflect upon the true gifts of love, hope, peace, and joy that are at the core of the meaning behind this most wonderful time of the year. Receive those gifts and be willing to give them as well. May we all carry the true Christmas spirit with us throughout the year.

Christmas cookies!

Our English Club Christmas party - plenty of
laughter and cheer that night :)

♥
mk

update #9 - loving my (homeless) neighbors: Spain

"great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day." -- sally koch

The last couple of weeks have been very full for me. Full of places to be, full of things to do, full of new cultural experiences (good and frustrating), full of wonderful conversations, full of people. Being an introvert, weeks like that have the potential to be very exhausting. But, while I did feel very tired at the end of most days, it was a truly fulfilling couple of weeks.

Filling bags with food to hold people
over between lunch and breakfast.

Now that I'm a bit more "settled in," I have the energy to be able to meet with more people during the day, which has been so great. The time I've been able to pour into new friendships has allowed the relationships to grow deeper, which, in turn, has helped me feel a bit more settled. It's amazing how much of a difference it can make to feel known in a foreign place. Even just to feel heard can be quite helpful.

In the last couple of weeks, I've been able to spend some time volunteering at Amfremar*, the soup kitchen in our neighborhood that serves breakfast and lunch to my (homeless) neighbors. Before leaving Spain last year, I had the opportunity to serve there for a couple of months and have been really looking forward to being back there, tangibly loving my neighbors.

Since going back there, I've started to recognize more faces on the streets as I walk through my neighborhood. People I never would have guessed might be struggling financially. People who have a story. People who have something to share.

I can't fix their problems, but I can offer a listening ear. I can give my time to help prepare and serve lunch. I can treat them with respect. I can tangibly love my neighbors. All of them.

The video below is a news story about Amfremar:

(For those who don't understand Spanish, the story shows and explains that Amfremar serves between 30 and 40 people two meals a day and sends them with a sack dinner at lunch. There is one cook in the kitchen, so during meal times, volunteers and a couple of office staff will come help serve the food. Amfremar also offers a place to sleep for up to 10 people, as well as counseling services to help these people get back up on their feet.)


*Amfremar stands for Amigos Malagueños de Familias Rehabilitados y Marginados (Malagueñan Friends of Rehabilitating and Marginalized families).



♥ mk

the gift of uncertainty

Lately a lot of things have felt completely out of my control. Even more than normally are. I've known throughout this whole process of getting ready to move back to Spain long-term that I don't know the day I'll be funded enough to purchase my plane ticket, or the day I'll hear that my visa application has been accepted - let alone the day I can even apply for my visa. But throughout this journey, I've felt incredible peace.

Peace in the midst of uncertainty.
In the midst of frustration, anxiety, questions.
So many questions - from friends, family, supporters, myself.

Why am I still in the States?

When am I going to leave for Spain?

What am I doing while I'm here?

Some of those questions have a (relatively) easy answer: it takes time to gather together and invest in the people God is calling to financially partner with me. And honestly, I'm SO thankful for that time! I want to know those who are supporting me in this way, and I want them to know me. My desire is for a mutually beneficial relationship; one where we can support, love and encourage each other. I'm still in the States because God has me here - to show me who He has for me on my support team, to heal me from past brokenness, and to fully prepare me for this lifestyle He's leading me to in Spain.

And can I just tell you how amazing it's been? How amazing He is?! Not that there were any doubts, but wow - experiencing HIM is ... I don't even know how to explain it ... true peace, unfailing love, eternal joy. The fullness of who Christ is. No more, no less.

I've gotten questions I can't answer. But one thing I've known for certain: Christ lives in me.

So really, what else matters?
Why worry about the little details of when, where, why?
What could possibly be as important as actually knowing Christ? Of pursuing His face?

Taking time to be still and listen

So, for a brief update - I'm in Seattle for the foreseeable future. This visa application process and support-raising is out of my control, but I have peace knowing that God is the One who has complete control over it all. He has me here now for a reason. He will get me to wherever He wants me in His perfect timing.

All I can do until then is make the most of this time.

This precious time I have with family and friends.

It is a gift.

When you give up control over all the details that can sometimes be so consuming, you can start to see the gift that every little moment is. Every person. Every conversation. Every sunrise and sunset. Every interaction with something in nature. It's all precious. It's all something I wouldn't necessarily get to experience if I were rushing through this time here, trying my hardest to get to wherever I think I need to be, when I think I need to be there.

How amazing our Father is, constantly blessing us with gifts - whether we see them for what they are or not. May we have eyes and hearts to see His many gifts for what they truly are!

Precious time with cousins

♥ mk