update #8 - frustrations

"if you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."  -- mary engelbreit


So many frustrations today.
So many things not checked off my to-do list.
So many tasks pushed out yet another day.

I started writing out - in great detail - each event and situation that frustrated me so much throughout the day and, as I was writing, I went through a big up and down of frustration. At first, it made me more irritated, just thinking through how I felt in the midst of each moment. Then, as I was recounting the stories, I realized how silly they all sounded. 

Being woken up by rain at 3:00 in the morning.
Going to (yet another) Spanish government office and being told (again) I don't have all I need.
The restaurant my morning meeting was at was closed today.
The (brand-new) bike I bought last week already has issues.
I had to walk in the rain. (Poor me.)

I mean, really?! Come on, Mikaela!

It was obviously a really trying day for me. ;)


Seriously, though. I can hear how ridiculous those complaints sound. Not that my feelings of annoyance and irritation weren't justified, but I was reminded - yet again - that so much of life is about our perspective.

A lot of what bothered me today was completely out of my control. There honestly wasn't much I could have done to change each of the situations themselves. But I did have control over how I thought about it. Unfortunately, most of today was spent thinking negatively about those moments.

But the day isn't over. 

This day doesn't have to end on a negative note. Nor do I have to remember those situations as frustrations. I can choose to shift my perspective away from the darkness and into the light. 

Look for the ray of light in the midst of darkness
(Photo: Monachil, Spain)

The rain that woke me up is nourishing the ground that doesn't often get the rain it needs.
I got to practice my Spanish with the lady I talked to at the government office. (And she was extremely patient with me throughout the situation we were both trying to figure out.)
Instead of eating out for my morning meeting, my friend/life coach and I got to cook breakfast together, which was really fun.
If I can't return my bike, this was a good learning experience for what not to do. ;) Plus I'll get to meet some new people at the bike shop I'll take it to to get fixed.
(I don't like to admit it, but) I actually think it can be totally freeing to walk in the rain.

Maybe next week my update will be entirely positive. For now, thanks for reading and supporting me from wherever in the world you're reading this!



If you can't change something, try changing the way you think about it.
It's worth a try.


♥
mk

update #7 - the return to Spain

"there is a difference between arrival and entrance. ...You can arrive at a place and never really enter it; you get there, look around, take a few pictures, make a few notes, send postcards home. When you travel like this, you think you know where you are, but in fact, you have never left home. Entering takes longer. You cross over slowly, in bits and pieces. ...It is like awakening slowly, over a period of weeks."  -- jamie zeppa

I have arrived in Spain.
After nearly 15 months in the States, it's surreal being back here. Surreal, a relief, frustrating, exciting, fun, exhausting.

So many different emotions going through me these days. A lot of new things coming to light this time around. Maybe it's because this isn't my first time in the country. Maybe it's because my commitment is for a longer stay this time. Maybe it's because I'd gotten used to American culture again without realizing it. Either way, culture shock is hitting me harder than I'd expected.

I thought I'd experienced enough of Spanish culture last year to be aware of how I'd feel being back here. I had set my expectations at what I thought was a realistic level to adjust back to this way of life within the first couple of weeks. But in these first couple of weeks, as I've worked on applying for residency, I've been slammed in the face with surges of frustration at how slowly things move here. Why must these offices close so early that I can only get one thing done each day?! How can anything get done in a timely manner around here?

But the slowness has really been a beautiful thing.

It has forced me to pause, slow down, and take in each of these experiences. I'm not here for two weeks, trying to see all that I can in a short amount of time. I have years to see it all, so maybe I should actually embrace the slowness of this culture and take that extra time to allow myself to settle in a bit better, to get to know the people I keep seeing at the market and coffee shops, to walk a little slower through my neighborhood and take in the sights, smells and sounds. When am I going to get this kind of opportunity again? Spain will only be new to me for so long, so why not make the most of it by taking on a bit of their culture and doing life at the pace most Spaniards would do it? (Novel concept, I know.)

The most important thing I need to remind myself to do is take things one day at a time. I'm still learning and adjusting. It's a process.
It happens in bits and pieces,
in conversations,
in walks through the city,
in meeting my neighbors,
in daily life.






I have arrived in Spain.
Arrived, but not yet entered. In time, probably without even realizing it, I will have entered. For now, one day at a time.


I'm off to the market...





♥ mk