update #7 - the return to Spain

"there is a difference between arrival and entrance. ...You can arrive at a place and never really enter it; you get there, look around, take a few pictures, make a few notes, send postcards home. When you travel like this, you think you know where you are, but in fact, you have never left home. Entering takes longer. You cross over slowly, in bits and pieces. ...It is like awakening slowly, over a period of weeks."  -- jamie zeppa

I have arrived in Spain.
After nearly 15 months in the States, it's surreal being back here. Surreal, a relief, frustrating, exciting, fun, exhausting.

So many different emotions going through me these days. A lot of new things coming to light this time around. Maybe it's because this isn't my first time in the country. Maybe it's because my commitment is for a longer stay this time. Maybe it's because I'd gotten used to American culture again without realizing it. Either way, culture shock is hitting me harder than I'd expected.

I thought I'd experienced enough of Spanish culture last year to be aware of how I'd feel being back here. I had set my expectations at what I thought was a realistic level to adjust back to this way of life within the first couple of weeks. But in these first couple of weeks, as I've worked on applying for residency, I've been slammed in the face with surges of frustration at how slowly things move here. Why must these offices close so early that I can only get one thing done each day?! How can anything get done in a timely manner around here?

But the slowness has really been a beautiful thing.

It has forced me to pause, slow down, and take in each of these experiences. I'm not here for two weeks, trying to see all that I can in a short amount of time. I have years to see it all, so maybe I should actually embrace the slowness of this culture and take that extra time to allow myself to settle in a bit better, to get to know the people I keep seeing at the market and coffee shops, to walk a little slower through my neighborhood and take in the sights, smells and sounds. When am I going to get this kind of opportunity again? Spain will only be new to me for so long, so why not make the most of it by taking on a bit of their culture and doing life at the pace most Spaniards would do it? (Novel concept, I know.)

The most important thing I need to remind myself to do is take things one day at a time. I'm still learning and adjusting. It's a process.
It happens in bits and pieces,
in conversations,
in walks through the city,
in meeting my neighbors,
in daily life.






I have arrived in Spain.
Arrived, but not yet entered. In time, probably without even realizing it, I will have entered. For now, one day at a time.


I'm off to the market...





♥ mk