the gift of uncertainty

Lately a lot of things have felt completely out of my control. Even more than normally are. I've known throughout this whole process of getting ready to move back to Spain long-term that I don't know the day I'll be funded enough to purchase my plane ticket, or the day I'll hear that my visa application has been accepted - let alone the day I can even apply for my visa. But throughout this journey, I've felt incredible peace.

Peace in the midst of uncertainty.
In the midst of frustration, anxiety, questions.
So many questions - from friends, family, supporters, myself.

Why am I still in the States?

When am I going to leave for Spain?

What am I doing while I'm here?

Some of those questions have a (relatively) easy answer: it takes time to gather together and invest in the people God is calling to financially partner with me. And honestly, I'm SO thankful for that time! I want to know those who are supporting me in this way, and I want them to know me. My desire is for a mutually beneficial relationship; one where we can support, love and encourage each other. I'm still in the States because God has me here - to show me who He has for me on my support team, to heal me from past brokenness, and to fully prepare me for this lifestyle He's leading me to in Spain.

And can I just tell you how amazing it's been? How amazing He is?! Not that there were any doubts, but wow - experiencing HIM is ... I don't even know how to explain it ... true peace, unfailing love, eternal joy. The fullness of who Christ is. No more, no less.

I've gotten questions I can't answer. But one thing I've known for certain: Christ lives in me.

So really, what else matters?
Why worry about the little details of when, where, why?
What could possibly be as important as actually knowing Christ? Of pursuing His face?

Taking time to be still and listen

So, for a brief update - I'm in Seattle for the foreseeable future. This visa application process and support-raising is out of my control, but I have peace knowing that God is the One who has complete control over it all. He has me here now for a reason. He will get me to wherever He wants me in His perfect timing.

All I can do until then is make the most of this time.

This precious time I have with family and friends.

It is a gift.

When you give up control over all the details that can sometimes be so consuming, you can start to see the gift that every little moment is. Every person. Every conversation. Every sunrise and sunset. Every interaction with something in nature. It's all precious. It's all something I wouldn't necessarily get to experience if I were rushing through this time here, trying my hardest to get to wherever I think I need to be, when I think I need to be there.

How amazing our Father is, constantly blessing us with gifts - whether we see them for what they are or not. May we have eyes and hearts to see His many gifts for what they truly are!

Precious time with cousins

♥ mk